Many people would find it difficult to top collaboration with Skrillex, but luckily for us Cali-based rapper Sirah does well under difficulty. She was in NYC recently touring with Swedish pop stars Icona Pop (QRO spotlight on), and even there, under the stress of a crowd who had no idea who she was her confidence and stage presence won over the fans of Icona Pop. Before the gig, QRO had a chance to speak with Sirah and find out how difficult situations have been a constant within her life and how she’s utilized those experiences to be where she is today.
QRO: What do you think it was that inspired you to be a musician?
Sirah: I think it was because I’ve always loved music and it really shaped who I am today. My experiences in life really pushed me more towards music, because it was a way for me to express myself and the things that were going on in my life.
QRO: Were there ever any musicians that made you feel as though ‘I can do this’?
S: I always tell people that my favorite musician is Jodie Mitchell, which she is, but it is because she was very unique in the way she approached things. She never compromised or let people tell her what to do, and her level of honesty was really brutal. It’s going to sound cliché, but learning about her really opened my eyes to the fact that you can be who you are while living the life of a musician. I never thought music would be a career move but after being a musician for a while, I can definitely see how much of a career it really is.
I used to tell my friends that if I put the amount of time I put into my music into anything else I could probably be a doctor by now or something… [laughs]
QRO: It’s funny you bring that up because after being in the industry for a while, I’ve noticed that that level of control is something that some people don’t even want.
S: Yeah, a lot of people don’t want the control of their own careers, which is really funny and weird to me because I am so… I don’t want to say “controlling”, but I am. [laughs] It’s not that I’m bossy; it’s just that I know who I am and I am committed to who I am. There’s so many people who get kind of taken out of this industry because they’re trying to be something their not. I’d much rather fail for being something I am then to succeed in being something that I am not.
Plus I don’t get how people can make money by making songs. I mean songs particularly for that because for me it’s all about expression, like I need to get the music out to get a piece of myself out. If it wasn’t for music, I’d probably be painting until 3am or something.
QRO: Have you ever seen a concert that left a mark on you, in terms of how the songs and performance were expressed live?
S: There’s been so many, [laughs] especially because it’s so 50/50 when it comes to live shows. Like I’ve been at live shows where it felt as though the artist forgot why they were into music in the first place and it would hinder the performance a lot seeing that. I think as an artist you have to take personal responsibility to keep your passion about it up, especially since the music industry is such a dark place. It’s why Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, and hell, even Whitney Houston, aren’t with us today. It’s so important to surround yourself with people who love what they’re doing in the music industry.
QRO: How do you think you come across to people when you perform live?
S: It’s funny you bring that up because I don’t drink or do drugs but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t come across in my performances at all. [laughs] People always get the impression that I’m crazy, and I can be but it’s just how I like to express myself. That’s just my personality. [laughs] There’s been loads of times when someone will come up to me after a show and go, ‘Wow, you were fucked up!’ and I’ll go ‘um… actually… I wasn’t…’ [laughs]
QRO: It’s funny because everyone grew up being told not to judge a book by its cover…
S: Mmhmm, but that’s what everyone does, judge a book by its cover. I mean hopefully we can stop doing that with people but with actual books you judge them by their cover! [laughs]
Speaking of books, I just got one recently just because of the cover, I didn’t read any reviews. I can’t remember the title, but it’s about a woman who got cancer when she was ten years old on her face and she had to have her face replaced. And the meat of the story wasn’t about the cancer or her chemo, but it was about facing the world with this new face, which was really interesting to me.
QRO: That is interesting, especially because so much of our identity lies within our faces, probably more so then we realize.
S: Exactly. And also she lived with her face before and had to live with a new face after that. Like she had to adjust and re-learn how to live, it’s just really interesting. We bought a lot of books and the reason I brought it up is because we actually started a bit of a book club on this tour.
QRO: Really?
S: Yep, me and K. Flay and her camp. It’s been great.
QRO: That’s great to hear, I’ve worked with her before and she always has a lot to say so hearing that she’s started a book club isn’t a stretch at all.
S: Yeah totally. And come to think of it, going back to what you said about live shows that have influenced me, I can definitely say that her shows are… there’s been moments where I have been completely blown away by what she’s doing.
QRO: She’s definitely the kind of performer not to give a shit about expectations. How did you craft your live shows into what they are now? Were you thinking about the live show while you were recording the songs?
S: Actually I don’t think I did at all. I go through periods in recording when I’m in an intense focused mode, kind of like being in a ‘zone.’ I never had a chance to think of the live show because those kind of ‘zones’ happened in so many different phases during the recording process that there wasn’t any time to think about the live show. So after I released the EP it was a bit of an, ‘Oh shit, the live show!’ moment that came on in my head. [laughs]
Luckily I’m very hands-on when approaching things like that. I believe that it’s really all a package, the songs, the live show, the presence – all of it. It’s all the same thing in my mind. To me music is just like painting a picture. Also the live show has really been coming to shape thanks to this tour. Before this tour I hadn’t been on the road in a while and me and my band, who are fantastic, kind of jumped into this tour blind. So it’s been a bit of a learning experience but I think that’s important.
QRO: When you say “learning experience” do you also mean that you’ve learned about yourself while on this tour?
S: Absolutely. I’m constantly learning from other people and it always comes back to learning about myself in the process. Let’s just say that in moments of oppression you really figure out who you are and how you’d make decisions. It shows you your own character, and I’m not trying to say that there’s a lot of oppression on tour, but it’s definitely the kind of environment where you’re constantly changing throughout the course of it. Whether it’s on a bus or someone’s floor I’m sleeping on, I’m just constantly shaping who I am.
QRO: It’s interesting you use the word “oppression”, because something a lot of people don’t consider with touring is how introspective it can be since there’s so much isolation. Sure you’re in a new city every day but there’s also long periods of driving and waiting around.
S: Oh completely. To tour you really have to be comfortable with who you are because at the end of the shows and partying you will ultimately be by yourself, and some people really can’t handle that.
QRO: Do you think recording songs changes them from what/how they were originally intended to be recorded? Did you deal with that while recording for the album?
S: I think that happens often, especially with me because a lot of the ways I do things is in a free style type of way. A lot of the songs I’ve done have a lot of improv when I’m recording; I just like letting my emotional side come through during those moments. In a lot of ways I’d say that the studio is where my songs really have to be born. I do go into the studio with notes and sketches and ideas, but it’s in the studio itself where I really grow a song.
“Icarus” is a song that came out that way. I went to the studio with a feeling and did my best to nurture and grow that feeling to help make the song what it is.
QRO: Did the song go through a lot of revisions?
S: They always do but that’s because I’m crazy. [laughs] I go to the studio every day when I’m at home. Like I just don’t know what else I should be doing honestly. [laughs]
QRO: Which song was very difficult for you to write and record and what made it difficult to do so?
S: I would have to say “Icarus”. It was a painful song to do because it’s a song about ego. The song is a bit of an ode to people I know, people who also make music, who kind of get lost within themselves, and there was an homage to my dad in the song because he died of a drug overdose. I found the story of Icarus related to this a lot because in the story Icarus believes he can fly to the sun and his father tells him not to do it, and he ended up doing it any way and he ends up failing, falling into the ocean, and dying. I found that relatable to what the song was about, especially the painful aspect of that.
My best friend passed away recently, so I dedicated this song to him on the album. He passed away due to drug-related things and when I was recording the ad-libs of this song I was crying in the booth, and you can still hear it in the recording. I didn’t think I would ever be able to record a song as emotional and draining as this, and even when I perform it live I find myself kind of getting lost in my thoughts and emotions on stage because… it feels like the story of Icarus is like the story of my life or something.
I think a lot of people struggle with that, realizing that about themselves, how dangerous an ego can be.
